Living a Life Full of 'Nevers'

Everything has been moving so fast that I really haven't had anytime to think about all the changes that have been taking place... In the last month I have done two things that I thought I would never do again: (1) Move to the Los Angeles area and, (2) work for Starbucks again.

I wake every morning thinking it is strange that I no longer wake up to anything I am used to seeing - whether that is in China or Washington. I live in an area surrounded by new development and occupied by a social class that I don't belong. I look out and see mountains that stretch out into the distance that are neither clothed in hues of blue and white, but rather or light and dark brown. Despite it being the month of October, Santa Clarita seems indifferent to the idea and still produces days with temperatures as high as 95 F. Southern California holds a different kind of beauty than that of the Northwest. It's held - as some might say - in the amount of sunlight that it receives yearly as well as in the diversity of people that populate its borders. However, I must admit that I am still acclimating and that I miss the rich and deep colors of the Northwest that are now covering the landscape back home. Flat-out, I just miss the Green. And despite all the memories of both good and bad that make home a bittersweet place for me, I will always hold a place for Vancouver in my heart.

That being said, I still find in my heart - somewhat surprisingly - an energy and desire to continue to explore. My heart seems unsettled at the idea of residing in one area longer than a year. My mind wonders and ponders the idea of moving across the heartland of the United States. At the same time, my heart and mind return to memories of China that seem like a faded memory and wonder if it wouldn't be better that I leave the U.S. and go back. I can't lie, I miss the simplicity and single-mindedness focus that I had in China.